Why Catholic Families Struggle to Develop Their Child's Full Potential
Life is crazy with young children, but there still seems to be time for anxiety and worry to creep in regarding our parenting skills. In the heat of the moment, it’s easiest just to brush off the tantrums as “this too will pass.” 

But maybe it doesn’t. What happened to those Catholic families that felt like they did everything that they could to raise their children well and are then confused and upset when a child stops going to Mass and begins to party excessively when they leave home?

Or are simply at a loss when their 18-year-old has no initiative, a weak character, and impulsive

While there are things you can do at a later age to course correct, let’s hope that you’ve stumbled on this article early enough to find out how to help your child find lasting connection now (with a few simple but powerful principles), in a world that wants to disconnect them from their faith as they grow into adulthood. 

Let’s make sure that your child remains on or gets back to a fulfilling path that engages the child’s full potential.

1. They assumed that children are naturally untidy.

Does your living room ever look like a second tornado has come through when you stepped out for a minute to check on dinner? Toys are everywhere and you dread the thought of trying to get Thomas to help you clean up before Daddy arrives home. Do the words tantrum, melt down, hitting, or yelling come to mind?

 

It might seem quicker just to wait until Thomas goes to bed and clean the mess yourself, but what happens when he leaves home? And if you continue to pick up after him, when do you get a moment of down time?

 

One may be surprised at this, but what many have termed the “terrible twos” or “troublesome threes” is really about the child being misunderstood. These reactions reflect a child’s need for order and usually stem from a change in their routine or environment (i.e., home, car, school, etc.).

 

You can give your child a sense of control and order by establishing consistent, daily routines, even if that means holding yourself and your spouse accountable to maintaining those routines.

 

When David and Catherine first came to me, they were experiencing countless power struggles with their 3-year-old son Anthony. Walking into their home, one could consistently see piles of unfolded laundry on their couch, shoes scattered throughout the home, and the kitchen counters full of dirty dishes and yesterday’s lunch. In the morning, one of them would quickly dress Anthony, carry him to the car often screaming, and hand him a granola bar to eat on the way as they usually were running late. Although they tried to eat dinner as a family most evenings, Anthony would commonly refuse to pick up his toys and bedtime always seemed to be a battle.  

 

Anthony’s behavior was a consequence of a lack of order and organization. I had David and Catherine look at their home and create a few dedicated spaces for Anthony’s coat, shoes, books, toys, and clothes that Anthony could easily access and keep organized. During this process, we also found a few quick things they could do so clean laundry no longer piled up and shoes could easily be found. We then developed simple, predictable routines to follow in the morning and in the evening. 

 

Much to their surprise, David and Catherine noticed Anthony shift from “acting like a brat” to a child who was loving and happy as his love for his new spaces of order emerged. The stress and yelling at Anthony to pick up his shoes and more dropped significantly as Anthony was now experiencing peace. David and Catherine not only enjoyed being with their son more, but they noticed less strain on their marriage. And that’s a win-win in my book!

 

Many families fail to meet their young child’s need for external order and in the process, hinder their development. But this is not the path for you! 


***When you are ready for the second reason in this 3-part series, head on over to Why Catholic Families Struggle to Develop Their Child's Full Potential - Part 2 of 3

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